After the rain...

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain
And no matter where I go it’s always pouring all the same
These streets are filled with memories
Both perfect and in pain
And all I wanna do is love you
But I’m the only one to blame

Cause today, you walked out of my life
Cause today, your words felt like a knife
I’m not living this life

But what do I know, if you’re leaving
All you did was stop the bleeding
But these scars will stay forever
These scars will stay forever
And these words they have no meaning



What do others feel when they lost the most important person in their life?… it’s hurt of course. Minsan sabi ko sa sarili ko, makita ko na lang na nasa iba ang taong mahal ko, wag lang syang mawala forever. Iwan na nya ako dahil sa ibang girl ‘wag lang dahil kinuha na sya ni Lord.

Sa movies maraming ganyan, namamatay ang bida at naiiwang umiiyak ung mga nagmamahal sa kanila. Normal na lang siguro sa’tin ang maka saksi sa ganung ka sad na situation. Taken for granted ang feelings nila. Minsan maiinis ka pa dahil sobrang kakornihan ng story. Napaka common.

Until recently, I just heard. My friend’s sad story. It doesn’t make sense to be affected. But somehow, even myself don’t understand why I cried. Maybe, because it was really a sad and tragic ending of their love story. A very complicated sad story that was miles away from fairytale’s ending. It wasn’t natural. It was done by hatred, pain and hopelessness. A really sad move of avoiding pain by taking its own life.

I was once deceived that taking my own life will stop the pain and end my misery. I was hurt before. So hurt that I could no longer think what’s right. All I felt was the stabbing feeling in my heart. hindi na makapag isip ng tama ang utak ko. Pati motor senses ko naapektuhan. Ganun ata siguro kapag sobra kang nasaktan. Gusto mong tumakas, maglaho at lumayo. Gusto mong makalimot, makaganti, magwala, maging maligaya. Lahat ng pede mong gawin to ease the pain. Mababaw ang bawat tawa at pilit ang mga ngiti. Wala sa sarili at laging tulala.

Pero ano pa nga ba ang mas sasakit pa sa mga naiwang ngdadalamhati. What could be the worst to know that your special loveone was just a few meters to the heaven’s gate? Accepting the fact could never that easy. And it never will. The scars of the past would be permanent until you die. No things and situation could change that.

Sabi nga nila, ang buhay daw ay punum-puno ng trials. Life is full of suprises and complications. Kapag nasaktan ka,matuto daw tumayo ng nakangiti, matutong lumaban at humarap ulit. Madali para sa iba na sabihin na “kaya mo yan…” “ok lang yan…ganyan talaga ang buhay.” But once you’re in that situation, you can’t even know that there still a rainbow after the rain.

Mababaw para sa iba… malalim para sa mga nasaktan. We can’t change the fact and the past. All we can do is to embrace the pain and be numb. Don’t be ashamed to cry. Weep if you have to. Allow yourself to mourn. It’s the only way to prepare yourself to the next phase of your life. Give yourself a time to heal and a time to move on. There will always be hope even if it seems hopeless.


Cause today, you walked out of my life
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)



Kyle…be strong.